Well, Sophie had a rough weekend. Saturday was spent with a bare bottom on towels much to her delight. We put her in a diaper whenever she went down for a nap and used diaper cream with powder. She was in a diaper for no longer than an hour. On Sunday we continued this regiment. I had lots of advice pouring in from my friends (thank you, Laura!!) and decided to go another way. We began using Lotramin on Sunday night in case of a yeast infection. On Monday morning, her heinie was pink! Not red! She didn’t cry at diaper changes and all was getting better. We left her in a diaper and changed her often, using Lotramin each time. Her loose diapers were also slowing down. Saturday was the worst and I think the tummy problems are done now. (Please, be done!) This morning she woke up with a full diaper and the redness had gotten splotchy. She cried again during her diaper change. I threw up my hands and called the pediatrician. We got an appointment at 10:00. The nurse cooed over her and said she’s the prettiest baby she sees. (We always have the same nurse and Sophie loves her.) It took her three tries to get an accurate temperature reading because Sophie kept grabbing the thermometer as the nurse passed it over her forehead. Then we had to change her into a clean diaper. SCREAMS! TEARS! GNASHING OF TEETH! KICKING OF MOMMY! The nurse took one look and cringed. Poor Sophie was miserable. I finally calmed her down as the doctor came in. Sophie talked to her and smiled, showing her two bottom teeth. The doctor gave her a tongue depressor to distract her while she checked her eyes, ears and tummy. She said that Sophie was not dehydrated and I did the right thing by feeding her nothing but formula for a couple of days. It let her tummy get back to normal and kept her well hydrated. It’s always a relief and an encouragement to hear that I’ve done something right. When she took Sophie’s diaper off, her little lip began to quiver. The doctor looked quickly so Sophie didn’t have time to cry. She says that, taking everything into consideration, here’s what happened.

1) Sophie eats vegetable beef dinner and has a bad reaction.
2) Loose diapers cause a bad diaper rash.
3) The diaper rash begins to fade but causes a yeast infection.

She suggested that we keep Sophie in her diapers but change her a little more often. Keep giving her mostly formula but slowly introduce just a few solids a day. (No meats and no fruits that cause more poop.) Use the Lotramin at every change and then Aquaphor over that. Stop using the powder and begin giving her oatmeal baths. She thinks that Sophie will be fine in a couple of days especially now that her diapers are better. Thank you for your advice and prayers. Let’s hope and pray that this will work and Sophie will come back to her happy baby state.

WARNING! CONTAINS GRAPHIC LANGUAGE NOT MEANT FOR CHILDREN! OR PEOPLE WITH WEAK STOMACHS! OR THOSE MORALLY OPPOSED TO READING ABOUT POO!

Teething has been no big deal for Sophie. Her two bottom teeth are now fully in and she never really fussed. If she did fuss a little then a couple of Hyland’s Teething Tablets took care of it. After her last round of shots, it took a couple of doses of Motrin and she was fine. She fought Ben and the nurse while getting her shots but I think she just didn’t like being held down. I guess what I’m trying to say is that Sophie doesn’t usually fuss or cry about physical discomforts. She’s bumped her head on toys and the coffee table and then shakes it off. Sometimes she’ll give us a sharp cry just to let us know that she’s ticked and would very much like us to acknowledge her displeasure. Then we are to GO AWAY and let her continue to explore the world.

Then…the diaper rash came.

For the last couple of days, Sophie has had very “loose diapers”. That’s a little more civilized than saying she’s sounded like an almost empty ketchup bottle. Last night she screamed while I was changing her diaper. I looked and it was bright red. Every diaper change was the end of the world. We took a tepid, moisturizing bubble bath and then let her pass out after her bottle. I consulted my nurse, the internet and - most importantly - my mother. All of them recommended that we let Sophie go au naturel for a day. So this morning when she work up, I changed her diaper while enduring the screams and gave her another bath. Then we put her on a pallet of towels over an old shower curtain. Almost immediately she pooped. Not just any poop…but a nice brown puddle. That she rolled and wallowed in. Over and over again. Gagging, I cleaned the towel and my now fragrant child who then peed on me. We put her in a diaper when it’s time for her to nap. We’re checking and changing her at the first sign of poo. (Every hour.) She’s only getting formula today so the solids can slow down a bit. The washer will probably run all day long. When she’s awake, she’s bare butted on the pallet. She looks like a baboon that’s been shaved. We’re hoping that all of this cures her and we can go back to throwing diapers away instead of washing poo stained towels.

Ah, the joys of motherhood.

Last Sunday we had a guest pastor at church. Craig Groeschel is the pastor of Lifechurch.tv and is an amazing preacher. The sermon was called “Choked Up” and was all about worry. This struck me right in my heart and I have been carrying the lessons in the front of my mind since then. He spoke about how we as imperfect humans constantly commit the sin of worry. The Bible tells us not to be anxious but rather to cast all of our problems on the Lord. Some of us - myself included - like to give our problems to the Lord but will take them back if we think He’s not doing it right or fast enough. How delusional to think that I have more control over my life than God?! Craig hit three main points.

1) Do what the Lord tells you to do.
2) Remember what the Lord has done in the past and keep that positive reminder in your mind at all times.
3) Leave everything else up to the Lord.

Ben was let go two weeks ago. When he called and said that he was coming home early and told me why, I sat on the floor and cried. I asked the Lord why this was happening. How were we going to take care of Sophie? I began to frantically think about finding an admin job somewhere just to keep us afloat. I was terrified of having to go back to work because I feel that God has called me to stay at home and take care of my family. Why was He making it so this was the only option? Ben and I talked that night, prayed that night and then continued that for days. Finally, I gave up and gave all of my fears to God. A peace fell over me and has not left. I knew that God did not want me to go and grab the first job I could find. He wants me at home to take care of my family. I began to search out other ways to help. I signed us up for WIC / TANF / Medicaid and I’ll find out those results next week. The Salvation Army gave us almost the entire amount to cover our electric bill. They also gave us formula, baby food and a big box of other food. Ben got a severance check that covered rent and other bills. We ordered an Angel Food box that we’ll pick up on Saturday. Ben has also signed up for unemployment, has 2 freelance jobs and went on two interviews today. Our insurance will last through the end of the month but Sophie is almost guaranteed Medicaid. We are fed, healthy, clothed and we have a roof over our heads. Most importantly, we are together.

Every day I get up and pray that God shows me what to do just for that day. I let Him take care of tomorrow. I hug and kiss my husband and baby girl. I praise Him for what he has done. If I get scared then I pray for the peace that I know will always come. I have never felt so safe. I have never felt so loved. I trust my Father to take care of everything because I know He loves me.

Are you worried about something? Cast it on the Lord and don’t ever take it back.

Me: “Ma Ma”

Sophie: “Da Da!”

Me: “MAMA!”

Sophie: “DADA!”

Me: “MAMAMAMAMA!”

Sophie: “DADADADADA!”

Me: *sigh* “Da Da.”

Sophie: “Ba ba?”