I spent the day with my family yesterday.  My sister ran out to get something from her car and my almost 5 year old nephew followed her. She came back in with a disturbed look on her face. Memphis had started playing on the ground and Erin told him not to play in the mud. Memphis told her that it was dirt and not mud. Then he pulled down his shorts and peed on the ground.

“Now it’s mud.”

KC: (to the cat) Oh, Boo! (beat) Booooo! Ambassador Bookins? (still nothing)

RB: You have to use her full title. (booming “alien” voice) AMBASSADOR BOOKINS MCFUZZYPANTS OF THE CAT PLANET!

KC: Of course.

UPDATE: I’m so sorry. I was just corrected again. It’s “McFurrypants”.

UPDATE #2:  According to my so-insistent-that-he’s-spitting husband, “IT’S MCFLUFFYPANTS!  IF YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE FUN OF ME THEN DO IT RIGHT!”

KC: ARGH! Every time I get into bed, I have to dodge your groping arms!

RB: It’s just what I do.

KC: You didn’t do that in middle school when I was your girlfriend.

RB: Nope. I was well into adulthood before I became a Serial Groper.

Sophie has a pretty predictable schedule. She wakes up around 6:00 and babbles while waiting for me to come and get her. She has her first bottle at 7:00. The rest of the day is usually spent in two hour increments. If Sophie is awake for more than 2 hours she has a meltdown. I watch her carefully for that first big yawn and fuss then carry her back to her crib. She’ll play in her crib and might fuss a little but falls asleep for an hour to an hour and a half. Today I laid her down and came back to the living room where I turned on the monitor. I heard her babbling and slurping on her hands. I dismissed it and told myself “At least she’s resting her body.”

Then my right side went numb, my eye began to twitch and I keeled over because I SOUND JUST LIKE MY MOTHER.

So much happened this last weekend. I’m still recovering from the awesomeness.

On Saturday, Ben had to work and run a mysterious errand. I met up with the rest of my family at a park and we had a picnic.

My parents and grandparents were there along with my brother, sister-in-law and my two nephews. My sister came and brought her man plus his three boys. All of the big boys ran around like maniacs playing with a ball, scooter and a kite. They also went down to the pond to “feed the ducks”. (AKA, pelt the ducks with bits of bread.) Aiden toddled around looking for people to charm and Sophie got passed around until she started freaking out. Finally we found someone to calm her down.

Jay and Sophie get along like gangbusters. He cuddled and walked around with her for most of the afternoon. After seeing him brush off anyone who tried to take her, I asked my sister if he was going to allow me to take my child home. We finally left when it became apparent that all of the kiddos needed naps.

Sunday was Mother’s Day. For my first Mother’s Day present ever, I received a framed picture of my husband and Sophie. It was perfect. We went to church that morning so that I could work the early service. (I volunteer in the Nursery.) My parents and grandparents met us for the late service. I hope they enjoyed it. We are NOT a traditional church. After the services were over, there was a Parent-Child dedication. Sophie looked beautiful and was actually pleasant for the majority of the ceremony! She waited to cry until our pastor began praying. After the ceremony, everyone came to my house and we met up with my sister, Jay and his boys. I made a big lunch that even the pickiest eaters liked. It’s a high compliment to a cook when there is NOTHING leftover. Again, Jay nabbed Sophie as soon as he set foot in the house. That boy is crazy about her! His boys played with Ben’s legos and one of the 3-year old twins cried when it was time to leave. I love his boys and can’t wait to see more of them.

My family is wonderful. I can’t wait for certain things to happen in the next year.

KC: What do you mean eat one thing at a time? Like, you eat your chicken, then your potatoes and then your corn?

RB: Basically, yes.

KC: You don’t like your foods to touch do you?

RB: Um…preferably not.

KC: So..really you eat like a 6-year old?

I need some new dinner ideas. I feel like I’m in a rut. Do you lovely readers have any suggestions? Ben likes just about anything as long as it doesn’t contain seafood or mushrooms.

We also argued about breakfast-for-dinner. Ben acted like he had never heard of such a thing outside of Catholic pancake dinners. Please help me convince him that he is the weird one!

(I think it’s interesting to see how people answer this question. If you have a blog, post your answer there and challenge your friends! If not, feel free to use my comments.)

You’re on Death Row. They bring you your last meal. What’s on the menu?

Wedge Salad with Tomatoes, Bleu Cheese crumbles and Bacon.
Lobster Bisque

Shrimp Scampi
Bleu Cheese Stuffed Filet Mignon
Roasted Asparagus Parmesan

Dinner Rolls
Dublin Dr Pepper

Dark Chocolate Cheesecake
Mocha Latte

Throughout my life I have dealt with fear and anxiety. Sometimes it was irrational and sometimes I had a reason. Motherhood is fast becoming a big reason.

There are days where Sophie takes her naps, eats her bottles and plays quietly all day long. Those days are few and far between. Most days are spent trying to get her to nap because I can see her little red-rimmed eyes and I know she is so sleepy. I try to give her a bottle because she’s almost chewed her fingers off in hunger. I play with her, lay her down to play by herself and give her toys. All of this is usually met with fits of screams and tears. I feel like I can’t do anything right. I feel like I’m making it up as I go along. I feel isolated and alone. That’s when the fear hits. My mind races with thoughts;

“You aren’t feeding her enough.”

“She’s not developing correctly and it’s your fault.”

“You can’t protect her from anything.”

“What a horrible mother you are!”

Everything piles up and I end up in tears. The fear is enormous.

Fortunately, God is bigger. I ask him daily to take away my fear and replace it with his peace. I try to follow His rules for parenting knowing that He doesn’t expect me to get it right every time. I watch Sophie grow and thrive. She smiles, kicks and coos every day.

But some days are still hard.

(Watching the NASCAR race together tonight.)

RB: Can you take the captions off of the TV?

KC: (Tosses the TV remote to him.) Here you go!

RB: (heavy sarcasm) Well, THANK YOU!

(After missing a crash.)

KC: Who crashed? What happened?

RB: Back it up and see.

KC: (Tosses the DTV remote to him.) Here you go!

RB: I AM NOT YOUR REMOTE MONKEY.