If you are pregnant and you insist on watching those baby shows where everything goes wrong and tiny preemies fight for life while their mothers have seizures with their contractions, try to pick the ones that DON’T take place at the hospital where you have chosen to give birth.
Those pregnancy hormones are really starting to kick in. I read stories about women bursting into tears, lashing out in irritation and getting depressed with no real reason or motivation. As someone who has had anxiety problems and emotions that always ran hot, I wondered how pregnancy would affect me. So far I have not seen a huge difference. No panic attacks, no crying fits, handling hard situations with prayer and a wonderful husband.
Last week my doctor told me that my blood pressure was borderline. She wanted me to come back in a week to check it out. I’ve had blood pressure problems in the past and she agreed that it was not due to the pregnancy. I went back yesterday and got checked. Everything was totally normal. The nurse asked if I was under any undue stress last week and I really couldn’t think of anything other than the possibility of drowning in laundry. I also have a sinus infection which could be affecting it. (Yes, Grandma. I got medicine and I’m taking it now!) Mama had taken me to the doctor and by coincidence my sister was there getting some tests done. We met up with her and walked down to the pharmacy to pick up my script. About halfway there I began to feel odd. I was sweating but cold and felt dizzy and off balance. I began to be scared but there was really no reason. Mama asked if we should go get my blood pressure read again but I told her I had to go to the bathroom first. I was confused and thinking wildly about what it could be. I locked myself in a stall and began to breathe big calming breaths. When that slowed everything down and I began to feel right again I realized what was happening. It was a panic attack. I haven’t had one in months. I willed myself to calm back down and go back out. I began to be more aware of my reactions and feelings. Everything seemed to swell around me and there were too many voices. Yep. That’s a panic attack. I got my meds and Mama and I left. As soon as we were in the car, it was easy to calm down.
It’s been so long since I had to deal with something like this. I used to be able to recognize the signs right away and use my coping techniques. I knew my triggers and watched carefully. Yesterday afternoon scared me and now I’m a little unsure of going out. I’m in prayer and keeping myself standing. I’m thankful for a loving God that I can trust during all of this. I’m thankful for an understanding husband who wants to help in any way he can. I know that I’ll be more than fine. How comforting to have no doubts!
I’ve been cleaning the bathroom this morning. I had sprayed down the tub with cleaner and came back a little later to mop everything up. I turned on the water in the tub and began wiping down the faucet. I pushed a little too far on the handle and the water stopped running. Confused, I leaned in farther and began to push the handle back up. I was greeted with a shower of cold water all over my head. I had accidentally pushed the little shower button.
Luckily, I can laugh at myself.
Since I no longer sit in front of a computer all day, I don’t post nearly as often as I would like. (Or as often as Grandma would like.)
I’m still trying to get used to staying at home. Honestly it still feels like I’m on some extended vacation. I’m also finding that it’s a little difficult to do some chores with a sweet potato sized baby rocketing around my torso. Anything involving lifting or bending over is becoming quite a feat. I’ve only gained about 12 pounds of baby and additional baggage but I am still losing weight. You can see it around my face and legs. Because of this weight shift, I’m generally unbalanced which is nothing new to a klutz like me. I regularly trip over air molecules. Still, I am enjoying this little one.
We had another doctor appointment last week with a sonogram. I was 17 weeks along and the doc said that we might be able to tell the sex. The baby had been active all day so I thought we had a good chance. As soon as I laid down for the sonogram…nothing. Baby was asleep and did not want to be disturbed. The doc tried vainly to poke, prod and look for a better angle. We got a good profile shot and the baby even pressed it’s little butt against the wand. He/she held it’s legs up and began scissor kicking. It just did it a little too fast and we couldn’t get a glimpse. By the time we left the office and got to the elevator, the baby was cheerfully kicking again. Ben has accurately dubbed this baby Michigan J. Frog. If no one is around then it’s “Hello, ma baby! Hello, ma honey!” but as soon as we press that sonogram wand to my belly…”bbbbbbrrrrrRRRAAAPPPP”. Stinker.
Ben turned 28 on Saturday. God did a wonderful thing we he brought him into this world. Even if he doesn’t pick up his dirty underwear. (I love you, Sweetie!)
RB: *burrrp*
KC: *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHH*
RB: …Stop trying to one-up me.
Step one in becoming a housewife has been a little tough. Since we were married, I haven’t been able to really keep the housework done like people live here and not cavemen. In short, it’s a disaster area. I barely kept myself about half a step ahead of the laundry, cleaning and cooking. Now that I have much more time I’m trying to systematically attack this apartment. It’s harder than it looked. My energy levels are higher now that I’m getting more sleep and less stress but it’s still a little hard to work like a horse while the baby goes through another growth spurt. I tire easily so I’m taking it a little slower. This drives me CRAZY because I want it done NOW. But I’m forcing myself to take it slow and do it right. I don’t want to work myself so hard that I end up hurting myself or, God forbid, the baby. This kid is way more important to me than getting all of the kitchen clean in half an hour. Thankfully I have a wonderful husband who cheers me on every single day. That helps a lot.
(I noticed that my belly is getting firmer and went to my hubby to investigate.)
KC: Look! I’m full of baby!
(Hubby puts his hands on my belly and he grins at how full it feels.)
RB: Your belly button is starting to poke out, too! LOOK!
(Hubby pokes his finger onto my extremely sensitive belly button that is slowly becoming an outtie.)
KC: AIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!! DON’T TOUCH THAT!
(Hubby continues to poke and laugh his butt off.)
Seriously, people. I’ve been an innie all of my life. This is untouched flesh that has never seen the light of day. IT IS NOT TO BE POKED.
Something really exciting is happening tomorrow.
I don’t have to go to work.
That’s right, folks! I’m starting my career as a housewife tomorrow. I could not be more excited. I’m eager to begin taking care of my home and my husband the way I’ve always dreamed of doing. Ever since I was a little girl I knew that I wanted to be an at home mom and wife. I grew up watching my mother who stayed at home with us until I was in 4th grade. I remember baking with her and watching her sew. I remember how much I loved her cooking. It was always such a warm, comfortable feeling to have Mama at home. I wanted to be that mother. When we would take tests in school showing us good careers to look into, I always just blew it off. I knew what I really wanted. As I got older I began to realize that it’s harder than it looks. I only worked because I had to. God has opened up some wonderful opportunities that have allowed me to stay at home like I’ve always wanted. I’ll let Ben tell you more about that. (If he EVER posts something.)
Please don’t take this as a knock to women who work and like to work. I respect those women and I’m proud of my friends who make a good living doing what they love. I’m proud of the women who make the sacrifice to work even though they would prefer to stay at home because they know that the family needs them. I’m thankful to live in a place and time where women have these choices. I’m thankful that I have a wonderful husband who doesn’t force me to do anything. I’ve made this choice for myself and for my family because I know it’s the right thing for us.
Keep tuning in to hear me talk about the best way to clean toilets.
