I’ve always been a level-headed quiet person.

OK, now that I made Melissa laugh so hard she wet her pants and my mother roll her eyes so far back into her skull that they nearly plunked right out of her head, I’ll confess. I’m normally a very moody person. I feel everything about 3 times more than normal people. So when I found out that I was pregnant I got a little nervous.

It’s like this kid found my Internal Emotional controls and said “Huh…These go to eleven.”

I wake up in the mornings and I’m already irritated at the stupid song I’ve chosen for my alarm. I grumble at having to go to the bathroom so often and stomp off to do my business. By the time I’m done, I’m weepy at the fact that feeling queasy and peeing a lot means that I’m actually pregnant. Then I try not to barf while brushing my teeth. I get to the train and begin to loathe all humans present. I want everyone to leave me alone. By the time I get to work, I’m OK and I want to hug everyone in my office. Coming home on the train lets me relax while playing Solitaire. If I lose, I get mad. If I win, I can lift cars over my head. At home, I walk in to see my loving and wonderful husband ready to shower me with kisses. I love him so much! I love him so much I want to cry! Then he starts watching that stupid ESPN show and I wonder how I can fit him down the garbage disposal. If I put him feet first then I can hear him scream the whole way. I can’t decide if that would irritate or delight me. I cook dinner and he kisses my cheek to show his appreciation. He’s wonderful! I want to hold him all night! I want to DARN IT I HAVE TO PEE AGAIN.

So yeah…my moods are even scarier now. If you will excuse me, I have to go hunt down Rachael Ray and beat her until she stops smiling.

Baby’s First Picture

Originally uploaded by RadicalBender

See that? That weird looking blobby thing is my baby! Ben and I are still marveling at getting to see the heartbeat.

My baby has a heartbeat!

This weekend was a blasty-blast. Much fun was had.

On Friday, I requested that Ben take me someplace romantic. He responded that we could have a date. We haven’t been on too many dates in the last month because something always seems to get in the way. We began at Al Amir. This Lebanese restaurant is fast becoming one of our favorite places. The hummus is INCREDIBLE and the entrees are huge. The service is wonderful, too. We left after a great meal, trailing a stink of garlic and onions that no complimentary mint could touch. We then went to see the new Die Hard movie. It was a good brainless blow-em-up movie and Bruce is still quite a hottie. After the movie, Ben took me to get double dip cones at Braums. Because we are such a cliche.

Saturday morning was nice and lazy. We slept in a little, went to get a fast food breakfast and hit up Sam’s. I am such a kid in a candy store there. The giant boxes of cereal called to me but I was able to resist. It was also kinda neat to see the diapers there and look at each other like Holy Crap! We get to buy those soon! We took our purchases home in a big, flat fruit box. The cat claimed this box before we even had it emptied. My grandparents picked us up that afternoon and we were off to Chuck E. Cheese. Chuck E. Cheese: Where a kid can be totally overstimulated. Ben tried his hand at some of the games and won big at a Wheel of Fortune game. (90 ticket bonus!) He bragged to my dad that it really was a game of skill and that his years of gaming had finally paid off. Swaggering back, he set about winning another 4,000 tickets. He never won again. He then claimed that OBVIOUSLY the game was rigged. That night was WEIRD AL YANKOVIC IN CONCERT! Singing and dancing with my husband to Albuquerque just made me fall in love even more. We returned home hoarse and happy.

On Sunday, we ran a couple more errands before going to the movies again. Yes, people…I SAW HARRY POTTER. Totally awesome though I am still a bigger fan of the books. While taking the car back to my mom, Ben and I had a long discussion about sci-fi versus fantasy. While we both appreciate each genre, he is a sci-fi fan and I am in love with fantasy. And yet, somehow, life goes on.

Quick pregnancy update: I’m still sick and sleepy. I am eagerly awaiting my first OB appointment in less than a week. My mom has promised to take me to a baby store JUST TO LOOK so that I can get it out of my system. I really don’t want to buy anything now. I just want to see what’s out there and revel in the fact that it’s finally MY TURN to have a reason to go to a baby store.

This pregnancy is going to be interesting. Ever since this little parasite took over my body, some weird changes have begun.

1) I can smell everything in a 30 mile radius.
Dude…I’m not exaggerating. While sitting at work a couple of days ago, I smelled some HEAVENLY garlic bread. I mentioned it to a coworker and she couldn’t smell anything. She went to lunch and I just enjoyed the smell while making a note to get some this weekend. She came back from lunch and giggled at me. The garlic bread eater was on the opposite side of the office. It’s a big office. I’m realizing that the slightly offensive odors on the train are now almost unbearable when coupled with morning sickness. Coffee, which I used to love, now makes me gag and I can’t stand the smell of my husband’s deodorant or root beer breath. He played a nasty trick on me last week while tucking me into bed. He leaned in to kiss me goodnight and breathed HARD with all of his root beery goodness. He’s lucky I was able to hold back from barfing all over him. Next time, he might not be so lucky.

2) I’m so sleepy!!
I was really just starting to get used to the increased iron after my doctor diagnosed me with severe anemia. Then this little unexpected turd precious angel knocks me on my back. Dragging myself out of bed has become a monumental event. I’m usually in bed before 9:30 and sometimes I find myself longing for bed as soon as I get home. Afternoons are the worst. I start looking around for an abandoned office and wonder if I could get away with a 30 minute catnap at lunch. This is one of those things that I always thought women used as an excuse. It couldn’t possibly sap so much of your energy this early on. Yes, when you’re carrying around a 30 pound weight hanging from your front then I can see the fatigue excuse being believable.

3) This is the world’s worst hangover.
That is the only way I can describe morning (noon and night) sickness. I mean, I don’t really know what a hangover is like. (Pardon me while I adjust my halo.) It is also another aspect of pregnancy that I always blew off. People had to be exaggerating. Now I’ve met other mothers who were so sick that they’ve been hospitalized. Thank goodness it hasn’t come to that. Monday, while on the train, I started getting that gagging feeling telling me that I was getting sick. I couldn’t get off of the train yet so I had to try to hold it back. I almost made it. At the White Rock station, after throwing up on the stairs, I flung myself off of the train and into some nearby bushes to finish the deed. I’m sure the people waiting on the train were thinking about how wonderful it was to start their day in such a manner. I want a shirt that says “I’m not drunk! I’m pregnant!”

I really can’t think of anything else but rest assured that I will continue to keep you apprised. The first OB appointment is in a week and half. I’m counting the days.

So…anything going on?

No?

I really feel like I should be posting every day. I mean there is quite a bit happening in my life now. But I really don’t want to be one of those people who does nothing but alternate between gushing and complaining about my you-know-what. (See, I even feel guilty in saying the P-word too much.) My husband already gets to hear about it night and day. He married me and has to suffer the consequences.

Side note, there is nothing more awesome than watching a really cute ponytailed man belt out Bon Jovi’s Living on a Prayer. Maybe a monkey on a unicycle but how often do you see that?

A lot of life feels like it’s up in the air right now. I’m kinda waiting for things to settle or at least give a me a general idea of where they are settling. I’m still waiting on the Harry Potter goodness that July has to offer and the Simpsons movie is still a little ways off.

Until then, you must be patient.

There are times in a married woman’s life where she looks at her loving husband and can’t believe how lucky she is. I have a lot of those moments. Ben kisses me after every meal I make. He constantly tells me how much he appreciates my efforts at housework and mealtime. He tells me daily that I’m beautiful and funny. He makes me feel like the most special person in his life.

Then there are times where you watch your husband, a grown man, stuff the cat into a box and imitate a jack-in-the-box. Those are times when you have to remind yourself that you willingly went into this marriage and that your child is going to receive half of his genes.

He’s in there gagging at the kitty litter. He’s not happy about the fact that I can’t clean the litter box anymore. Especially since that was our agreement.

He’s so sweet.

UPDATE: After he finished, he said “THERE. The cat litter is taken out. HAPPY?!” Yep. He’s sweet alright.

My sweet, wonderful, caring husband is in the bed still snoring away. I’ve been up 4 times in the night to pee and puke.

I think I’m going to go poke him with a stick.

This “morning sickness” has really got me on my knees praying for relief while face planted in the commode. Yesterday we spent the afternoon at my Grandma’s house with the family sans Erin. (LAZY.) I had eaten that morning and managed to keep most of it down. I think my stomach was so surprised at this that it just made me hungrier because HEY! FOOD! We don’t get a lot of that lately! So by the time we got to my Grandma’s house my stomach had started growling. Now Mama says never to let my stomach get empty. That’s a sure fire way to nausea. So I politely asked if anyone was going to order pizza like we had discussed. I got some halfhearted answers as they played with my nephews. I picked up Aiden and began playing also while waiting for someone to realize that I was about to eat the baby. After bringing up the pizza 4 times and getting dismissed, I cornered my Mama and Grandma in the kitchen and whined “I’M HUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNGRY!!!!!” Grandma obliged and Papa was sent out to get pizza 20 minutes later. NOTHING has ever smelled and tasted as good as that pizza. I even shoved Aiden back to his mother so I could eat. (I usually never willingly give up a baby.) After lunch, I sat on the floor with a distended belly (practice) and a contented smile. Aiden meanwhile probably breathed a sigh of relief at not becoming a small snack.

One hour later…it was gone. Poor Ben was at his wits end because I was so miserable. They finally took me home. On the way back, I realized that I was hungry again. McDonalds fries have never sounded better. I made Ben get me the biggest container they sold. I finished them at home with a Welch’s grape soda. Again, I sat content. I even had a bowl of ramen around 10:00 because I was still growly.

Sometime in the middle of the night I lost it all again. I tried to be quiet so I didn’t wake up my magnificent husband whose fault this really is and should probably be holding my hair every time.

I just rent food now.