(Last week after church.)

KC: Mary said that Sterling was enamored with Sophie tonight. He kept going to the playpen and talking to her. I think he likes her!

RB: That’s sweet…as long as it’s just as a friend.

KC: (to the cat) Oh, Boo! (beat) Booooo! Ambassador Bookins? (still nothing)

RB: You have to use her full title. (booming “alien” voice) AMBASSADOR BOOKINS MCFUZZYPANTS OF THE CAT PLANET!

KC: Of course.

UPDATE: I’m so sorry. I was just corrected again. It’s “McFurrypants”.

UPDATE #2:  According to my so-insistent-that-he’s-spitting husband, “IT’S MCFLUFFYPANTS!  IF YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE FUN OF ME THEN DO IT RIGHT!”

KC: ARGH! Every time I get into bed, I have to dodge your groping arms!

RB: It’s just what I do.

KC: You didn’t do that in middle school when I was your girlfriend.

RB: Nope. I was well into adulthood before I became a Serial Groper.

KC: What do you mean eat one thing at a time? Like, you eat your chicken, then your potatoes and then your corn?

RB: Basically, yes.

KC: You don’t like your foods to touch do you?

RB: Um…preferably not.

KC: So..really you eat like a 6-year old?

(Watching the NASCAR race together tonight.)

RB: Can you take the captions off of the TV?

KC: (Tosses the TV remote to him.) Here you go!

RB: (heavy sarcasm) Well, THANK YOU!

(After missing a crash.)

KC: Who crashed? What happened?

RB: Back it up and see.

KC: (Tosses the DTV remote to him.) Here you go!

RB: I AM NOT YOUR REMOTE MONKEY.

KC: What if I made big baked potatoes for dinner? I could put BBQ beef on them to make it heartier.

RB: I don’t know.  The only meat I like on my baked potatoes would be bacon bits.

KC: You know those aren’t real meat, right? They’re artificial. I think they’re made of soy.

RB: What?!…OK…(deep breath)…my whole bacon universe has been turned on it’s head.

KC: I’m just saying, I’ve always dated geeks. I’m used to the lack of romance.

RB: (holding up an onion ring) “Look sir, droids!”

KC: Yep.

KC: (examining Sophie’s legs) This child has horribly dry skin. One of the moms at the NICU told me that Mustela is the best thing to use.

RB: Isn’t that what Australians put on their sandwiches?

KC: Um…I’m not putting chocolate hazelnut spread on our child. Besides, that’s Italian.

RB: Oh wait…I got it confused with Vegemite.

KC: Yeah…I’m not putting that on her either.

KC: I always had it rough because my name rhymes with everything.

RB: It doesn’t rhyme with Fred.

KC: …touche.

(My belly is slowly getting more and more noticeable. Mostly when I’m naked.)

KC: Look! Feel how packed in she is!

(RB feels on my belly and smiles.)

RB: Wow! That’s crazy! It’s so firm!

(RB reaches around to give me a hug and cops a feel.)

RB: Your butt is getting firmer, too.

(I feel around curiously.)

KC: I don’t think it feels any different.

RB: Trust me. I know your butt better than you do.